#i'm just gonna slowly post all of my stuff from twitter here

[manadreams0]

Cigarette Kiss

ORV AU comic where they're rival underground criminals ;)

inspired by a threadfic on twitter by @crispyscoliosis !

[buttercupshands]

I just managed to get off mha hyperfixation

And now it's happening again... Oh no

Helps with upcoming MHUI LoV event tho, it was a long time since last one happened I wonder what would happen in a new filler story part

Basically this and couple of pages of mid-final arc chapters + recent episode and next one being The Dabi episode was just too much not to get excited again

But! Important thing - I need to reread the last arc before I make anything new, if possible without finishing it to the 419 chapter and everything after, it took 2 months to really recover from the damage that chapter did

Anyway am I ready for the new event? Kinda! Do I have enough gems to get new Tomura? No! I'm not sure he'll even show up this time, because other ones were and still are really stubborn

Also Steampunk recruit took like 120 pulls in a step-up recruit and in the usual one combined

Not the best time to get LoV involved, it's cruel even

Also that one part of the page I added at the beginning was so interesting to look at and them I joked about 236 being similar. The only good thing with final arc being over is that I can say that Izuku didn't draw the parallel of seeing everyone hurt and seeing Tenko react on Mon's death

Understandable why, but it's funny to just look at them and be like, "wow Horikoshi traumatized them both"

[zpxck]

Yeah, and what about it?💖 (2019)

right Image related...somehow. Also the first sketch is based on these yoga pants

[jamorbital]

Mailbag III ✉️

Wow, there were a bunch this time. Thanks everyone!

@theloramir:

Me! 😷

If that doesn't count… Hmm. Cynthia from Pokémon? Or maybe Tifa?

@scout90-again:

I've been interested in it for as long as I can remember. Even when I was really little, I liked to tie up dolls with string and put pieces of tape on their mouths. A bit more on that in an earlier ask here.

(MORE UNDER THE CUT)

@noteverysaurisadinosaur:

Uhhh... I'm gonna say... Golden Toad. I like Dodos too, but I'm guessing that's the "everything but country and rap" of this question.

@directivexero:

Aw thanks!

Lately I've been slowly making my way through The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles! I play it in bed each night to settle in before I go to sleep. It's like a good book. The fickleness of the jurors always makes me laugh.

Another recent one I liked: Thank Goodness You're Here! It's basically a little interactive animated movie. Matt Berry is in it. I once saw it described as "Untitled Twat Game"

Deadly Premonition is the worst game I've ever played by conventional standards, but I'd still recommend it because it's bad in really fun ways. Bring some friends and a case of beer.

I like games that provoke a strong reaction. I'd rather play something like DP than a "good" big-budget game that's smooth and pleasing but not all that memorable.

Also on the topic of weird games: This is the secret best channel on YouTube. The more you watch, the better it gets. I mean idk, maybe other people don't see it and I'm just deranged. Still though. I've cried laughing at some of these.

@patientbard:

Summer! Lots of happy memories from childhood. I like to swim.

@nixalegos:

I don't often try to go for a specific texture, but when I do it can be tricky. In real life I love soft jersey knit fabric. Despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to nail it in 2D in a way that really scratches that kinky itch.

In general, my drawings rarely come out the way I pictured them in my head. (I think that's how it is for most artists?) If it's looking really off then I might redraw a character or body part from scratch, but for the most part I just go with the flow.

@accretion-disk-anxiety:

To eat, crab; to not eat, turtle.

@damianblack:

I'm not really into furries, but I like furries as people. They seem like fun and I admire how welcoming and liberated their community is.

For a while I've had "draw an anthro character" on my bucket list. I think it'd be a fun challenge and drawing a gag for an anthro snout could be hot tbh.

@onidrills:

What was that thing from Jurassic Park with the big neck thing and the venom? Dilophosaurus?

Aw man...

@goodboynijian:

Thank you!

For proudest: Maybe animation loops?

They're not as elaborate as some other stuff I've done, but seeing an animation come together just feels so satisfying.

For hottest: I gravitate toward a certain weirder type of piece where I draw myself (or "myself") with super-exaggerated proportions and/or humiliating captions:

It feels exciting to just go totally off the wall. I get turned on not just by drawing these, but also posting them. I guess it's kind of a public humiliation/exhibitionism thing. (Actually, that's exactly what it is.)

I used to put them up on Twitter, but it got a little too weird and embarrassing. Now I keep them behind the safety of the paywall.

@t-oppenheimer:

Smash if that counts! I used to attend locals weekly and was decently competitive at my peak. I stopped going in 2020 due to covid and never got back into it after that. I still play with friends here and there though. I'm a Wolf main. 🐺

I've also done a little SF6, but I'm still in The Cursed Zone on that one.

@microfoamgaglover:

Yes

(old pic!)

Thanks again to everyone who sent in questions! I'm feeling better now than I was this morning. If I didn't respond to you, it just means I couldn't think of anything interesting to say. I appreciate it all the same.

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/739381076510785536/so-it-seems-our-flag-means-death-has-not-been#notes

I liked OFMD and I'm sad it's not getting renewed, but I agree that the fandom was especially toxic, even by the standards of currently popular slash-heavy fandoms. I wanted to read fic after s1 ended the way it did, and I read a little bit, but along with it having all the tropes that I can't stand in a lot of what is currently big with the MSF crowd (and that I'd been happy to have a reprieve from in my current main M/M fandom), the toxicity of the online fandom discourse made me quickly realize it was one that I was going to discuss among my current-friends-from-other-fandoms who also watched it, and my sister who watches it, and pretty much ignore the rest of the Internet. It was such a perfect storm of everything awful, from people who are overly invested in it to an unhealthy degree (I think I realized I wasn't gonna be active in the larger fandom around a month or so before the s2 renewal announcement, when I saw earnest PSA tweets telling people to "stop threatening suicide in HBO's replies if they don't renew OFMD"), to bombarding and parasocial obsessions with the creators and actors, to all the classic "anti" and purity police crap that plagues anything that gets popular on here.

The fandom it reminds me the most of, honestly, is Yuri on Ice fandom at its peak in early-mid 2017. Again, a show I love, but a fandom I absolutely do not miss. In some ways they are kind of similar shows: ones with canon M/M romances where they were not billed as that, and they were hinted from early on but people didn't trust it due to years of dealing with queerbaiting, where that sort of thing slowly crept up on people and then became the defining feature of how it was discussed everywhere. I wonder if there's a particular level of insanity that that type of thing breeds in its fans - or maybe, more broadly, "canon M/M with a large female fanbase." Like, you don't see this kind of thing in canon M/M stuff that's mostly watched by queer men rather than women, but there are shades of the insanity I also remember from Glee fandom (I was more active on the F/F side of things there, which had its own unhinged drama, but the Klaine vs. anti-Klaine stuff was so explosive that it was hard not to notice it if you were anywhere in that fandom, like a mushroom cloud in the distance). But YOI and OFMD do seem very... singular in the particular kind of obsession that they generate.

And I really wish people would shape the fuck up, because if they're going to act like this over and over again, that's just going to de-incentivize showrunners to make shows like this for that audience.

Driving Con O'Neill off Twitter was one of the worst parts of it, too. There was something so refreshingly earnest about how much he embraced the fandom, even the weirdest parts - saying with regard to NSFW fanart that "art is art" and retweeting stuff like his character in a crop-top that said "babygirl." It was so nice to see an actor who didn't usually have that kind of following embrace it wholeheartedly rather than steering clear. ....And then people had to be awful and creepy and obsessive and he left Twitter. I bet he's going to be a lot more skeptical of dealing with fans in the future!

--

It's not just the canon m/m aspect: it's the wholesomeness.

Yes, yes, they're all evil pirates, I agree, but watching S1 did give me the feeling of something that was supposed to be very progressive and light-hearted in particular ways. I don't think that's bad, but it does tend to attract some very over-sensitive fans with some very rigid expectations.

It's sadly par for the course that one of the random side character actors is the fun one and people are jackasses and desperately want the leads they ship to be the fandomy ones and/or just start creeping on any actor they can get a reaction from.

[leopardom]

✨ sappy post incoming ✨

(and a little trigger warrning for the vague mention of suicide)

i’m not gonna do any gig reports for now because last week still feels like a fever dream and i can’t really put my thoughts in an order that makes sense. but i just wanted to stop by to say how much i love the vibes and creativity of this fandom and how happy everyone was when it came to meeting and trading/giving out their creations while queueing for the gigs or even when they were over

in Munich, Milan and Padova i got to meet so many people from here. with some of them i chatted more and with some others less. but in any case it absolutely warmed my heart to finally see all those people i see on tumblr but like, in real life! i got to trade my stickers for bracelets/stickers/art/fan stuff, got to see everyone have a good laugh because of my stuff and also got to complement people for their crafts. and i'm telling you i really meant every single word because as i already mentioned, i love the creativity of this fandom 💕

last weekend i began my trip with pretty much nothing on me and now i'm back home with a bag full of bracelets, a folder full of art and a heart so full i wanna cry. i mean look at that:

1) idek where to begin with the tags of the artists, i’m still confusion but i’ll try to come back to this post again later with a clearer mind

2) “big juicy” bracelet you will always be famous @greensolsikke <3

this last week was a tiring experience with many ups and downs but at the same time it was probably the best week of my life so far

i'm getting especially emotional about it all because this whole frenzy concided with my birthday (on the 29th of March). this may sound cringe or what, but on the actual day of my birthday and when everything was over, i was sitting alone on my hotel bed in Milan and was thinking how this last year of my life started in the worst way possible and how it was only escallating towards the worst every single day. during my 26 i reached a new level of low, a bottom lower than the one i had reached when i was 20-21 (and that was a bad bad time). and yes, there were a few times when i was close to ending it all because it was too much. my 26 was pretty much like hell

but now i'm glad i didn't give up and pushed through all the struggles. because if i hadn't, i wouldn't be able to experience last week. i wouldn't be able to see some of my dearest friends again, to meet all the amazing people from here and from twitter, to see one of my favourite bands perform for three nights in-a-row and to listen to all my fave songs of theirs live and even cry my eyes out to some of them (Barve Oceana in Munich, Padam in Milan and Metulji in Padova really were an Experience). can safely say that my 26 ended with a bang and it was a very good one 😌

i'm feeling sad that this is over but at the same time i'm so warm inside and so happy that it happened. and i would do it all over again, especially if it meant meeting you all again or meeting even more of you from in here. i have never felt so welcome by people who technically only knew me as a tumblr user and i never thought this would happen, considering how awkward i am when it comes to interacting with people online and in real life

anyway i think i've talked too much and i'm slowly loosing my train of thought because the thoughts and emotions are so many right now. i just wanna thank each and every single one of you for making the past week so special and one of the best weeks of my life. i'm beyond gratefull 💖

sincerely, the curly head with the meme stickers 🫶

[golbrocklovely]

What's you opinion on the colby and mlp drama? I see some fans are mad at him for "breaking her heart", cause the poor girl was waiting around for 8 years in the hopes of him finally making her his girlfriend and he has the audacity to date another girl. For all we know they're never been in a committed relationship.Her fans should be encouraging her to finally getting over him and move on.

i've gotten an ask about this before, a week or so back. i was against commenting on it just bc i don't want to give mlp the time of day. but as things have slowly played out, via her and her fans… i don't really feel the need to stay silent on it.

there's a lot i'm probably gonna say, so this will most likely be a very long post lol

and to those of you that hate-read the shit i post - especially since you like mlp so much - i ask you kindly to read completely thru. i know that's a lot, but please consider doing it, especially before you send in an ask calling me a "dick rider" for colby just bc i don't immediately say he's a slut and a douchebag for breaking her heart :)

i'm gonna give the briefest of rundowns for those that don't know.

first off, if you want to know how i feel about mlp, here is an ask i answered a while ago detailing most (if not all) of the shit she has done over the years.

secondly tbh, i never understood her relationship with colby. sure, they were always weirdly flirty, seemingly in a will-they-won't-they type of thing. but her livestreams have painted an ENTIRELY different picture. one that paints her as a bit…. unhinged, imo. he doesn't look great either, but i'll get into it.

now, what has been happening recently: i pop in occasionally to her streams but for the most part i steer clear bc she annoys me too much. i have friends that tell me everything, plus you guys. but i have witnessed some stuff with my own two eyes. when she first started streaming, she was NONSTOP talking about colby. answered any and all questions about him, how they were super close, talked about adventure buddies, said all the good poems in her book are about him, even saying she was gonna have him on at some point soon. and she was gonna have him in videos soon as well.

as you have pointed out, anon, her fans are mad that he "broke her heart" but how that became "reality", so to speak, stems from this: her sister asked her what she was doing for nye, and mlp said she had no plans bc "no one asked her yet" to do anything. fast forward to after colby's bday, aka around the time the pics of him and m leaked, and suddenly mlp is not streaming.

the stream she did a couple days after colby's bday is a new level of crazy i haven't seen from her bc she just aired it ALL out. and even if she didn't do that, her fans with their big ass mouths on twitter, insta, and tiktok, have been doing it for her.

she explained to her chat that she just went thru a breakup, basically. that it was an eight/nine year long situationship that was on and off again…. interestingly, her and colby have been friends since 2015. which would be…. eight/nine years.

very clearly, she is talking about colby, without saying his name.

now, there was someone in chat that said something about situationships, someone else asked what a situationship is, and the person replied with "a sexual relationship but with no commitment" or something vaguely like that. mlp immediately said "oh that's not what i had."

………so, you're telling me that whatever went on between the two of them….. wasn't sexual…. at all??? maybe i don't understand what a situationship is then, bc i was under the impression that the SEX PART was kinda the whole point. otherwise…. you just kinda have a friendship. an emotional situationship is just not a thing lol

even tho she kept telling her chat "i can't talk about this", she just kept going. she said that la changes ppl, that she thought they were on the same page for years and then all of sudden things took a turn. she thought she knew him well bc she was so close to him for so long. she can't talk about it publicly bc it's "too obvious" and she has to stay offline bc it's all on social media (which really just… seals the deal that it's about colby lol). she said she cried in his face and he said nothing. she also, verbatim, said "it's like one week you're their everything and then the next they want to go party and be with crazy girls and i'm not crazy" which…. cmon girl. you might as well have said m's name atp.

now, with all of this out of the way… how do i personally feel about this, since my opinion is so valid lol jk

for years, mlp has made it her mission to plant the seeds thru out the fandom that her and colby were secretly dating behind the scenes. that they had something going on but "oh guys, i can't talk about it ;)", playing coy and never outright shutting down the rumors. i have literal ss from her fan accounts saying "you guys don't know the truth. of course colby would never tell the full story" and shit like that. these are fans that fully were in GROUP CHATS with her for years, listening to her every word. so it's very clear to me she was telling them directly what was going on.

or at least the good parts - that her and colby were a thing.

but colby CONSISTENTLY has said time and time again that he is single, that he is not looking for a gf, that he hasn't had one since 2016, that he hasn't met someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he has said all of that to us for YEARS. now, unless bts he was saying to mlp "oh baby, you know i'm just lying to the fans" that is the ONLY WAY he would be completely in the wrong here. regardless, colby has been seen publicly with girls so. many. times. mlp has been called out for liking edits making fun of said girls! she's also been rumored to be his guard dog, to loom over him, that he needs to "keep his bitch on a lease" - and the ppl who said this were the girls that were fucking with him. so she isn't in the dark that he is with other ppl.

and again, a situationship is NONCOMMITTAL. that means they aren't dedicated to each other. she herself has been with other guys, she admitted that. so why is it colby is the asshole here?

her fans are claiming that he flaked on her, that he chose m over her….. babes, that's not how this works. first off, again - noncommittal. these are the terms and conditions they BOTH agreed to. they have been playing this cat and mouse game since like 2016. nothing about their relationship has changed since then, let's be honest here. secondly, she literally said out loud "no one has asked me" aka COLBY DIDN'T MAKE PLANS WITH HER. so, he can't flake on someone he didn't make plans with. and this is no shade to mlp - but she doesn't drink, she doesn't party. colby for years has always been a partier. what exactly was he supposed to do with her on nye???? i'm not saying that to be mean. i say this as someone who is a wallflower, a stick in the mud, a prude, a straight-edge, ect ect. i haven't partied since i was in my early 20s. i get the lifestyle she has. i'm just saying realistically, of course he's not gonna want to hang out with her on one of the biggest nights to party.

now, all of this is not to say that she is the only one that did wrong in this situationship. colby should have said something long before now. but he liked that she emotionally supported him, he liked he could rely on her for his emotional needs to be fulfilled. he should have realized how deeply into him she was. he should have cut the chord long before things got to what they are today. but to bring it back to mlp, since this is about her mostly - she is 30. THIRTY. she has been playing this game since her early 20s. she knew what she signed up for. they haven't even had sex. with all that deep emotional bond shit they had going on - they never got intimate in that way. and clearly, she never had a problem with it. until now.

i think for the entirety of their relationship, mlp knew at the drop of a hat colby would come running to her - and vice versa. i think this is the ONE TIME he chose someone else over her. that, tied with the fact that she was making all these promises of him being in her content - videos, her documentary, streams - she NEEDED colby to say yes to all of this. and maybe he said yes, but then changed his mind. maybe he said he was too busy, and when she found out what he was busy with (hanging out with m on nye), it finally clicked that he was not into her like she was into him. even tho as a fan that has been obvious for years now.

and while i don't like mlp, i don't wish her harm. i don't wish her to be heart broken or sad. i know exactly what she is going thru. all of my dating experience has been unrequited love. i get it. trust me. however, you can't play innocent and naive. you knew what colby was doing all this time. and sure, he's a dick for not stopping this sooner. but you clearly knew what was up - YOU COULD HAVE LEFT. you had years, eight years in fact, to leave at any point. but you accepted what you could get, and you milked it for all it was worth. not to mention, but how did you expect him to want to be with you when you are in gcs with his minor fans talking about him constantly??? that man likes to keep things private, and you were basically shouting it from the rooftops.

not only that, but you played the fun game of shitting on any girl he was friends with or hooking up with. and only apologized when you got called out for it. and then tried to play the whole "i'm all for women supporting women" bs. let's be real honest, cards on the table - you only support women when you deem them as nonthreatening. the moment a woman is competition to you, especially in regards to getting attention from colby, you shit on them. bc you're scared. you're scared he will choose them over you.

also this doesn't even take into the fact that why would you want him to date you at this point when he has made it clear he doesn't like you like that? you want him to lie and pretend to be into you?

all of this being said, while i do have some sympathy for her, i also really don't. and the reason for it is bc she LIES. she egregiously lies, and has done it multiple times in her live streams (and obviously for years now).

here's two main ones, off the top of my head: one, she said she doesn't who corey scherer is…… besides the fact that apparently she has been in colby's life since basically corey was there, i find it hard to believe she doesn't know who he is. one reason is bc she used to go over to the old trap house. she 100% met him. and you know why i know this? reason number two, SHE IS IN THE BACKGROUND OF ONE OF COREY'S VIDEOS. she is there, sitting next colby. watching corey do something goofy for his vlog. why she would lie about this, idk.

two, and this is a bit of a weird one, she said she doesn't like zoos. she said bc she's vegan, zoos make her upset and cry and that she wants animals to be free or whatever. okay, hey, that's valid. and you might be like "how is this a lie?" well, back in september, when snc were in hot topic. she went with colby to said store. you know what they did after that (maybe even before)? THEY WENT TO A ZOO. i got the video clips of her giggling with colby over a capybara. the last time she seemingly hung out with him publicly was THEM GOING TO A ZOO. when she answered this question on stream, i was confused. bc she literally was just at a zoo with colby. so why lie??

she doesn't even benefit from lying about this shit. so what is the point?

and the reason why a lot of this deeply pisses me off is bc of how two faced these fans of hers (and colby's) are. in chat, she will have ppl kissing her ass, saying colby is a shitty guy. he's emo trash, he's a douche, they want beat the shit out of him from breaking her heart. he's a slut, and they even trash m. all that. but then, weirdly, on twitter and on xplrclub these same exact fans are begging, PLEADING, for colby to give them a crumb of attention. making edits of him, buying the merch, tagging him relentlessly. so… which is it? is he a dickhead, or is he this swell guy you want to have say your name in chat? pick a fucking lane.

okay. i'm done now :) lol

[nikatyler]

𝟚𝟘𝟚𝟚

Time for a recap of the last twelve months! It's basically my tradition at this point. This year was a weird one. I'm not even gonna get into real life issues. It sure was something and I'm going into 2023 with no energy and zero expectations, lol. But with this mindset, I can only be pleasantly surprised, right? Or...the world will show me that when you think it can't get any worse, it will.

Anyway, simblr stuff! This is the year I started drifting away from tumblr. It makes me sad, but really, it just isn't the same as it was when I joined. The interaction is not what I wish to get so I'm simply moving to places where I feel like I'm actually heard and seen. Idk. I've tried a few times to "be the change I wanna see" but it's hard to change stuff around here. But oh well, to each their own. I'll probably stick around, even if I hang out more somewhere else and what you see are mostly queued posts. And, well, if twitter burns down, which I wouldn't be surprised if it did, you know I'll fully come back here. I love this hellsite. Genuinely. It makes me mad but I love it.

But I still love you guys. TS3 discord and a few other people who are not in that discord, I do seriously love you.

So, what was happening on this blog this year?

𝕛𝕒𝕟𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪

I was still posting my previous BC! Well, I was finishing it. Vi became a parent and hadn't become a cheating jerk yet. 😅

𝕗𝕖𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪

*this* is Vi's cheating jerk era. I still feel bad about how I resolved the whole thing, it was too rushed. I guess I was focusing more on the gameplay part and the NSB rules and less on whether their actions are logical? Prince shouldn't have come back to him, that's the hill I'll die on :D I know, I know, NSB rules and all, but he shouldn't have.

𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕔𝕙

We're slowly moving onto Bloom's very short generation, as well as gen 3 of my lepacy. It's Ginevra's time to shine, but first, we spent a lot of time with the winners of Axel and August's BC.

𝕒𝕡𝕣𝕚𝕝

Bambi and Candy are born, as well as the BC babies. Loads of baby cuteness in April on this blog. Oh and Ross flourishes in his babysitter era. Well, he's always been a babysitter to his descendants, but I feel like this is where he 100 % accepts it 😂

𝕞𝕒𝕪

Gins' era truly starts now (why do I keep saying era in this recap lmao). I had a lot of fun playing in Twinbrook again and Ginevra and Lori were so great. <3

𝕛𝕦𝕟𝕖

Alongside my lepacy (hi Elias & other gen 4 babies), I started posting the pink gen of NSB and also, my 100 Baby Challenge! I still can't believe I actually did that, and that I completed it in like two months only. Wow. What. I mean, yeah, I hyperfocused on it, but still. How did I do that.

𝕛𝕦𝕝𝕪

Again, gen 3 of lepacy and gen 7 of NSB, not much to say here. As for playing, I mostly just played the baby challenge. Oh! And Maeve's BC, of course.

Ohh, and July was the month when I decided to dive into the wonderful sims community on twitter. Probably one of my best decisions this year as I made many great friends there...🥰🥰

𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕦𝕤𝕥

Gen 3 ends and Sawyer is ready to take over Bridgeport but he has to wait for a bit. Pastel enters the blog and her bonding with Ross is seriously one of my most favourite things. I didn't think of this at first when I was playing, it only came to me later when I was posting the generation, but he definitely grew fond of her because she reminds him of Sunset so much ;-;

𝕤𝕖𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

Good news: Bambi and Atsuko get married. Bad news: Ross and Caleb break up. *sigh* There's so much to unpack with their breakup storyline. Yes it makes sense that they'd hit a few bumps on the road, yes it makes sense that some of them would be bad, but...deep down, the breakup only happened because of my insecurities and lowkey being afraid of using a townie in my stories. At least I kinda got over that this fall (thank you twitter moots).

More good news: I'm finally posting the BC!!

𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣

I finished posting the 100BC and...yeah this was Maeve's month. October was also very vampiric, but I'll probably mention that in a separate recap (if I do a separate recap haha), as this one only focuses on my regular daily content (legacies and such)

𝕟𝕠𝕧𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

In November, we saw the funniest twist to ever happen in my BCs. Sorry River :D Aaand we also have the winner of Maeve's BC! I can't wait for you all to see them again in the legacy. Next year, hopefully.

𝕕𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕞𝕓𝕖𝕣

Sawyer's time to shine has come. Well, not really, his siblings are constantly stealing it. Don't be surprised if he one day, you know, steals their organs and sells them.

Oh, and it's also TS3!Ross's time to shine. Because of course it is. I knew I needed to use his TS3 self somewhere, and all things considered, this felt like a perfect time for that.

December was also the month I started posting videos on youtube. I'm sorry if I'm annoying about that, but I just enjoy it so much. Never thought I'd say that. So, if you haven't yet, feel free to check it out (and subscribe maybe? 🥺). I'm hoping to do some fun stuff next year.

What's in store for 2023? I'll probably talk about that later, but to put it simply, I think this blog will be stuck with NSB and lepacy.

Thanks for sticking around with my grumpy self. Here's to a better 2023.

Happy new year, everyone!

[dgr-nh]

Hello everyone, tis I, the manager of the tumblr account for our dear new danganronpa fangame: Danganronpa: Negative Hope

We're a team of (not) professional developers who (don't) know what they're doing, coming from a discord server which I cannot share with you at the moment.

But being honest here, we're doing our best, we're looking forward to sharing some stuff about our game, including progress updates and art from the characters or the UI / backgrounds.

We already have most of the characters planned out, only missing two of them which out of the two, one of them already has the character details file.

When it comes to the story we're a bit behind, but that's because it's a relatively new and small project. We've got the general outline for the prologue, but we have to bulk it up a bit. (Same for chapter 1, we're currently working on the first class trial, since it's what we think will take us the longest).

The art department is doing okay, we have the designs for all the OC's but two I mentioned earlier and the UI has been sketched out. We already have the aesthetic decided (we're going with cryptidcore), but the backgrounds aren't our priority yet, so we have literally none done (we're very professional as you can see).

Btw, if you want to talk to me directly, hi, I'm Lee, I go by he/him or he/they.

I'm not only the tumblr community manager, but also one of the two programmers, the guy in charge of the UI's design, the artist who drew Lynn, Hiro, Michikuma and Sophie's only sprites (for the moment), a main story writer, and the guy who created both Hiro and Lynn, story and design-wise.

(Now that I write it down I do a lot of stuff actually-)

Our other official accounts are:

Instagram: @ dgr_nh

Twitter: @ DR_Negativehope

And that's it. (We're expanding slowly)

ー★ー

Lee note - Tbh I'm gonna have to ask if I can post certain stuff because I already got censored on twitter once by the team for posting a "mildly nsfw tweet" (it was not) that could paint us as unprofessional (it would not, we already are) on the official account.

Just don't tell my boss if I post stupid shit and we're good 👍

[siriuscreates]

Been slowly trying ween myself from Twitter because like...y'all see what's been happening. I doubt I'll be able to just drop it all the way, as I do use it to keep track of artists (and what shitposts I can find XD). That being said, I'm gonna probably use it less for posting art, because even though I've built a bit of a following on my accounts, I'm seriously just tired of having to deal with algorithm and numbers nonsense and having traction be snuffed almost instantly on my art.

Plus, I do think that it might be good for my mental and future business just to get back into regular gallery posting. I've noticed that I've gotten super down on myself just trying to keep up with the flow of Twitter. I do still have ways to advertise my commissions and a number of ways for my art to get around, even if it's "slower". I'm just hoping that I can adapt and work up the habit again.

With all that being said, I do hope folks here enjoy my work. I also have my @guardianfloofs account for worldbuilding stuff, which so come with some concept art I do for the little universe my mate and I have created. It's kind of a little treasure for me, even though I'm currently not trying to make it some huge thing yet.

Ok, all that late night rambling down. ^^; Just wanted to air out some thoughts I had.

[mowisha]

Where do I start? AAAA I have lots of plans this year that I listed at the start of this year and I'm steadily and slowly doing my best to complete all of them! So this is like a diary post just so I can compose myself and not get too overwhelmed by all the things I wanna do.

You can keep reading on below if you're interested with my life, but this is mostly just me taking notes since I don't vlog or keep a diary with me anymore haha.

Internet Friends

This year went by so fast but I know that I also grew a lot as a person and I've met a lot of amazing people that contributed to this year. I met 2 actual friends that I found on Reddit (r/phR4Friends to be exact). Kyle invites me to all these gigs around my city and Manila from time to time and I realize that this is the kind of stuff that I've been missing out on for the past few years. Hazel is one of the best girls I've ever met and she's up for anything and even shared with me about losing my 3 year old phone! I went to La Union with her, her friends, twitter friends, and few a college acquaintances that I ended up being friends with also.

Also met a lot of new people by joining new local discord servers and it made my days less boring. It got me distracted with my plans on studying tho so I'm trying to limit my interactions and just meet up with them in real life tho. But yeah, I"m very thankful for all of them and they all treat me so nicely.

Lost my Phone

Went clubbing with Hazel earlier this year and ended up losing my phone and I think 2 years worth of photos! I was soooo sad and ended up using what Iearned working in starbucks last year to buy a secondhand iPhone 13 Pro. I have a love/hate relationship with the camera but I'm slowly getting used to it.

Concert and Gigs

Last December, I saw Keshi and this May, I saw the 1975 for the first time ever since their first show here in the Philippines last 2013. I enjoyed watching them live so much. In between these concerts, I went to a lot of local and out of town gigs and realized there were a lot of local underrated/underground music that I haven't discovered yet

Vespa Primavera 150

I saved up like crazy so I can buy myself a scooter, a Vespa to be exact. I was gonna go for the White Primavera 150 but someone in a local band told me that it was too common so he bought a relax green one and it got me thinking so that's what I'm gonna go for. I've been going back and fourth to the Vespa Shop here in Baguio but it's still not available until now. It's okay tho, I'm still in the process of fixing my driver's license. Tomorrow, I'll go and get my student's permit in Porta Vaga.

The Idea of Living on my Own

I saw a loft apartment the other day and I'm going to check out the actual thing tomorrow morning. It got me thinking of starting to live on my own and it fills my tummy with butterflies just thinking about how I'm gonna decorate it to make it feel like my home. I shouldn't be too excited because I'm not yet sure whether I'll actually get it or some other people are going to get it before me. But if I don't get the apartment, I'm already decided that I should move out this year, I'm about to turn 26!

Crochet

I started crocheting late last year but I didn't get to continue practicing due to working 2 jobs and dating someone at the same time but this year, I gained a lot of time because I resigned and the relationship died lmao. I've been working on a life size BMO stuffed toyfor the past 3 months, I think? I'm about to finish it this week, I think! After this, I'll continue making tops like what I originally planned.

Half Dyed Hair

I know I told myself multiple times that I'm going to leave my hair alone and and start growing it out but I bleached and dyed it again this year. Ended up regretting it and had lots of hairfalls :( This will be the last time I swear.

Lost my Tita to Cancer

It came to a shock that my tito asked me to come to Manila asap because my aunt was already in her death bed. I spent a week staying by her side and crying. I never told her that I loved her even when she was literally dying because those words can't come out of my mouth but I know I did. She took care of me for 10 whole years and I always kept my feelings to myself because our relationship wasn't perfect but I'm thanful everyday because I wouldn't be the person I am today if she never took me in when my parents gave me and my brother away. She's in a better place now and I've already forgiven al the wrongs she's done to me.

We have 6 months left until the year is over, a lot of things can still happen and I'm excited what else is in store for 2023. Thank you for reading! :)

[oodlyenough]

at some point last month i got an ask expressing interest in my aa3 thoughts as i played and then i... never posted anything lmao. sorry! switch screenshots only share easily to twitter so it gets my scattered thoughts sometimes

anyway i finished case 4 (mia v bratworth) last night, meaning i just have the big finale left. no spoilers plz. here's misc thoughts so far

the feenie case was super fun. loved it. rookie mia was a great way to do the tutorial (although s/o to aa2 Amensia Phoenix for being the funnier option) while keeping it interesting for returning players. and while the first cases usually feel like total throwaway cases this one obviously sets up a bunch of stuff for the rest of the game, which is fun too

unfortunately case 2 with masque de mask or however they spelled it just about killed me lmaoooo i found it so dull and dragging. urgh. when i try to remember highlights now i can't even really think of any, other than ron and desiree were kind of endearing.

case 3 was a mixed bag. homophobic and dated, but in such a way that it like looped around to being... i don't even know. for most of the case nick was the only one not misgendering jean. then he got in on it too. then jean introduced his ? pen name? drag name? i don't know. i'm pretty sure it was meant to be zany and subsequently offensive but alright... genderqueer icon ig...

lmao also maya kept making remarks at nick that sounded like code ("i didn't know you were so... cultured") and there was endless weenie innuendo so i feel there was a different end result through the funhouse mirrors that are time, translation and culture

but tbh i don't have it in me to care too much about a 20 year old game having homophobic jokes. most of it, incl. fauxnix, was very funny, and i liked the puzzle solving of this case, where i could mostly reason through it on my own using logic, which is satisfying, rather than getting irritated and turning to a walkthrough like i did a dozen times for case 2.

case 4 is the one i've been dying to get to, i knew nothing in particular beyond another flashback case of mia vs edgeworth which is already right up my alley, anyway: deeply enjoyable. much to think about. etc. going in i assumed mia would lose the case, since obv dahlia is free in 3-1, but uhhh lmaooo i didn't expect the defendant to do That. like with the first case this clearly rolls over into the end of the game so i don't have too much to say about the plot yet.

other misc thoughts on this game so far:

i've been playing this pretty slowly bc i'm a crazy person (see original post) but the disconnect between how invested i am in the overarching case that involves characters i love VS the cases of the week is really noticeable here.

love that we're getting to see more of mia. love mia having her own lil moriarty... very funny that person is a teenager.

unfortunately godot is my least fave prosecutor thus far (i mean, aside from payne, but he doesn't really count). i know he's got his fans but i find his schtick dull. when i started aa2 i was like, "i get why they had to replace edgeworth as the main antagonist (bc he's in love with me) but i don't want a new one :(" but then they replaced him with franziska who immediately became another fave, so i didn't care. but replacing franziska with godot has not worked the same. 😞 miss the von karma brand of insanity

in general gonna miss all my fave lil dudes when i finish the trilogy 😞

i'm midway through aa3 right now (just starting the mia v edgeworth case) and although it's finally getting very good i find myself torn, bc on one hand, i wanna see what's gonna happen with all my new fave lil guys. on the other hand, i don't want the story with my new fave lil guys to be over. you see my dilemma

[whysojiminimnida]

Okay, I haven’t been paying attention to Tae’s music recommendation (they’re usually not my style) but I’ve slowly realized that they (at least the ones I *have* been paying attention to) seem to point to a romantic interest??? I’m 99% I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but his most recent IG story (You make me want to be a better man) hit me like a bolt of lightning and made me really consider the idea instead of dismissing it outright like I usually do. I mean, obviously it’s completely possible that he’s dated before or is dating now (I would say it would be near impossible that he hasn’t—HE’S GORGEOUS!) but the vibe I got is that he’s possibly ‘soft’ launching or hinting at the idea??? IDK. I feel like such a delulu even talking about this lol, it’s ridiculous. My full clown make up is ON. 🤡

My rational brain is still insisting that he’s just a romantic and this is really just the type of content that he usually would come out with (possibly even more thirst traps if it was a private account lol). The man is all about the ~vibes~ judging from how he indescriminately and unhesitatingly delete stuff off his account lol.

Here's a cute Twitter thread that's worth a look because it has videos of Tae quoting As Good As It Gets in the replies:

Now y'all can call me delulu WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME but I have been out here on record saying that TAEHYUNG IS DATING SOMEONE for a good minute now.

AND to add insult (maybe) to injury (that whole art museum thing) I even said at the time that I felt that Taehyung might be queer, but he is, and I quote "at least most of the time, straight". SO IF YOU'RE GONNA COME AT ME BRO DO IT I SAID WHAT I SAID. In November of last year. Following that I did mention a few times that I kinda thought Taehyung might come out with a girlfriend this year but that it might be problematic if he did:

Soooo, based on my own post history, it's pretty clear I'm on Team Taehyung Has A Person. Girl person or boy person really doesn't matter, and I think I've maybe altered my personal opinion on how het that man can actually even be. But I do think this: SOMEONE NEEDS TO HIDE TAEHYUNG'S DELETE BUTTON. Seriously SEOKJIN HOBI NAMJOON WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE WHEN THIS MAN IS IN HIS FEELINGS BE HELPFUL DAMMIT

[helloalycia]

my happy ending [one] // kara danvers

summary: your crush from work decides to make a move, but she keeps putting off telling you something that you don't realise is actually really important

warning/s: none

author's note: i'm still working on a bunch of stuff but here's some old stuff to tide you over as i do. this is part one to a two-parter! enjoy :)

part two | masterlist

I sketched out some designs at my desk, ideas for some new Instagram and Twitter marketing CatCo we were planning to do. I was in charge of social media marketing at CatCo Worldwide, so things like this were routine at work. What wasn't routine was the cute blonde, Kara, AKA Cat Grant's assistant, approaching my desk with a chirpy smile on her lips.

"Hey, Y/N," she greeted, before setting down a coffee cup in front of me.

I smiled automatically, Kara's presence instantly affecting my mood in a positive way. I glanced at the cup and quirked an eyebrow.

"Hey, Kara. Is this for me?"

She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably. "I was picking up Miss Grant's order and I remembered you said you loved the chocolate orange hot chocolates Noonan's do. So, I got you one."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Oh, wow, er, thank you. You didn't have to do that."

She shrugged, and I was sure she looked as flustered as I felt. "No biggie."

I took a sip of the hot chocolate and smiled at how good it was, but mostly because of who got it me.

"So, what are you doing?" she asked, walking around my desk and sitting at the edge. She glanced at my sketches and added, "Is that the new fashion post for our social media accounts? They look amazing!"

"Just some sketches, but eventually they will be," I said, before nodding. "And thanks. I just need the photos so I know what I'm working with. Gotta ask the new guy, James... you met him yet?"

Kara nodded. "Yeah, I just bumped into him earlier."

"Can you believe he knows Superman?" I asked with disbelief. "How awesome is that?"

She smiled with amusement. "Extremely awesome."

"Keira!"

Kara lost her smile when Miss Grant called for her, before looking to me apologetically. "I should–"

"It's cool," I said, nodding for her to leave before Miss Grant tracked her down. "Thanks again for the drink."

Kara flashed me a smile. "Anytime. See you later."

I watched her walk away, waving as she glanced over her shoulder. I found myself biting my lip to contain my own smile, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

Kara Danvers, assistant to Cat Grant.

Ever since she began working here, I found myself crushing on the blonde and her cute mannerisms. We were friends, occasionally hanging out outside of work and doing things together. But that's all it was, sadly. I knew she was friends with Winn – best friends, I think – and I also knew that the tech guy was practically in love with her. I didn't know him as well as I knew her, but I knew enough to not want to get in between the two of them. So, Kara Danvers remained a silly little crush.

I got back to my sketches, managing to draft up some mock-ups on Photoshop before my day ended. I was more tired than I thought that evening, ending up falling asleep earlier than usual. Which meant that I missed the biggest news in National City yet – a mystery woman saving a plane from crashing, possibly a new superhero.

I woke up the next morning to a million and one calls and texts from colleagues at CatCo, all expecting me to get on social media to post about this mystery woman. By the time I got to work that morning, I was caught up with everything and in awe at this new superhero we had. It was pretty darn awesome!

The amazement I felt however was short lived, as Cat was all over me when I got to the office, claiming I should have been on top of our social media coverage as soon as it happened. Apparently me falling asleep wasn't a valid enough point to miss it, so I was put to work instantly, working with the photography and marketing department to find some sort of coverage on this mystery hero.

As I was lining up some posts with the limited images available of this hero, I felt a presence stop by my desk and saw it was Kara.

"Morning," she greeted, before glancing at my computer. "Oh, so you heard?"

I chuckled. "Kind of hard not to. It's everywhere." I nodded to the many TVs around the office that were playing reruns of the news coverage from last night.

"Pretty cool, right?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Very, but it also means I now have a lot of work to do, especially because I fell asleep when all of this went down," I said, jokingly. "Cat has been all over me about this all morning."

Kara laughed and it was literally the best thing I'd heard all day.

"So, I was actually hoping I could tell you something," she said, an excited smile on her face as she met my eyes.

I felt a little flustered under her gaze and found myself distracting myself with my computer screen momentarily.

"I actually have a lot of things to do right now,” I said regretfully. “Maybe later?”

Her smile faded as she nodded. "Right, no, yeah, that's totally fine. Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologise," I said instantly, feeling a little bad. "I just– if I don't get this done, Cat will kill me."

"I got it, you do this, it's cool," she said reassuringly, offering me a small smile.

"Sorry," I tried, a little sad that there was nothing I could do. I really needed to get this done, despite wanting to spend some more time with Kara.

"It's fine, good luck," she said, giving me a grin and thumbs up before leaving.

I sighed, before getting back to work. Unfortunately, it was a few hours before I could get away from my desk, and I managed to track down Kara at her own desk, remembering she wanted to tell me something.

"Hey," I said, earning her attention.

She looked up from her notebook, smiling when she saw me. "Hey, you manage to get that content done?"

"Just about," I said, before offering a small smile. "Sorry again for blowing you off."

She waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine, honestly."

"I'm free now though," I said optimistically. "Maybe we could grab an early lunch? You can talk to me then?"

Kara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as she nodded slowly. "That sounds nice actually, yeah."

I felt a little relieved when she agreed. "Great. Well, I'll let you get your things and meet you by the elevator?"

She pursed her lips, suppressing a smile. "You got it."

We ended up getting lunch, as agreed, and it was nice to make it up to her. Though, I never really noticed that she never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so distracted by how smoothly our lunch was going that I forgot to ask her about it. Maybe if I'd asked, she might have told me the truth. Or she might have made something up and lied. I guess I would never know.

–

Did somebody say tiny umbrella drinks? #gottalovethetinyumbrellas #CatCoFoundation [image here]

I sent yet another tweet and picture out from CatCo's Twitter account, watching as it instantly got responses from everyone. I was at an event that Cat was throwing for all CatCo employees plus special guests. It was an event to raise money for Cat's foundation – a charity for children's hospitals in National City. My job was to live-tweet the heck out of the event, hoping to boost donations online.

It was a formal event, so I was comfortably dressed in some high-waisted pants and a silk blouse, it being my best attempt at 'formal' clothes.

The event wasn't too bad. There was free food and drinks, plus I got to hang out with some of my friends from work whilst doing the bare minimum. I just wasn't an evening person, I guess.

"Hey, stranger," a voice startled me, and I turned around, surprised to see Kara Danvers stood there.

I hadn't seen much of Kara in the past few months, despite working with her. She always seemed to be caught up with Winn, and she'd gotten quite close with the not-so-new guy, James Olsen. I wasn't stalking her or anything, but I began to notice when I would try to make plans with her like we used to – little things like grabbing coffee or going to watch a film after work – and she would decline or have plans already. Then I'd see her constantly being surrounded by Winn and James, so I figured she'd just made new friends.

"Kara," I breathed out, smiling as I took in her appearance. "Hey."

I hadn't seen her at all this evening and I was sure she just showed up because I definitely would have noticed how good she looked in that fitted red dress of hers.

"You look really nice," she said, looking me up and down before meeting my eyes.

"Thanks," I said, hoping my cheeks didn't look as warm as they felt. "So do you. You liking the event?"

Kara looked around, nodding. "It's beautiful."

"You did a good job," I said, giving her a knowing smile. "I know you planned it."

"This was all Cat, I just–"

"Kara, everybody knows you plan the events around here," I told her with a chuckle. "It's okay."

She smiled to herself, looking down. "Right." It went quiet for a moment before she looked up and said, "Do you want to dance?"

I was a little taken aback by her confidence, but nonetheless, I found myself nodding. She smiled as she held out her hand. I took it, feeling goosebumps from how soft her hands were.

She led me to the dance-floor, stopping and resting a hand on my waist, the other holding my hand. I nervously rested an arm on her shoulder as I focused on swaying to the music playing rather than stepping on her toes.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she said after a moment. I looked up and saw her blue eyes staring right through me.

"Well, we've both been busy," I attempted to give a reason.

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, it's not that... it's my fault. I've been hanging out with James and Winn so much lately that I've been neglecting you."

I laughed a little awkwardly. "Kara, it's okay. You don't need to feel bad for having other friends. I mean, you don't have any obligations to me. They're your best friends. Of course you're gonna hang out with them."

She pursed her lips and I admittedly felt nervous as she stared at me, her expression unreadable. She was a little taller than me which didn't help with me trying to keep my emotions in check. She was extremely close to me as we swayed to the music and I could just about focus on it as she continued to stare at me.

"What if I want to have obligations to you?" she asked, and I almost thought she was joking until I realised that she wasn't.

I wanted to understand what she meant, but I didn't get to ask because she leaned forward and closed the gap between us with her lips. I was surprised at her boldness, pinning Kara for the shy type. Nonetheless, I returned the kiss, melting into her embrace and warmth.

We pulled apart soon enough, myself a little flustered from the kiss. My lips were still tingling as she met my eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips.

"I hope that was okay," she muttered.

I nodded slowly, still surprised. "Yeah, it was."

My stomach was doing somersaults as I mirrored her smile; the gala was merely a blur in the background as I realised Kara Danvers had just kissed me. I definitely wouldn't have thought she felt something for me other than friendship.

"I'm assuming you want this to go somewhere," I said, a little stupidly.

She laughed melodiously as she nodded, intertwining her fingers in mine. "That's the plan, yes. But actually, er..."

"Second thoughts already?" I joked, though inside I was genuinely believing she might be second-guessing her decision, judging from her sudden change of facial expression.

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "It's just, I feel like we should talk first. I have to tell you something. Before this goes any further."

She sounded quite affected by whatever it was, so I nodded, losing my smile for a moment.

"Of course, you can tell me whatever you need to," I reassured her, giving her hand a little squeeze. "Do you want to talk now or after?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but tilted her head to the side as she grew distracted. I waited patiently, expecting her to snap back into reality, but she seemed caught up with something else.

"Kara? You okay?" I asked, growing a little concerned.

"What? Yeah, sorry," she said, shaking her head before meeting my eyes with apologetic ones. "I'm sorry, I have to go for a minute. I just realised I have to check on the desserts for the party."

"Oh, okay." I nodded, giving her a small smile. "You can tell me whatever it is afterwards then?"

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'll be back after, I swear."

I believed her and watched as she let go of my hand, already in a rush to leave. I wondered what was so time-sensitive about desserts, but decided not to question it as I realised the very obvious and surprising fact that Kara liked me.

As she turned to leave, she quickly turned back to me and moved forward, pressing a haste kiss to my cheek. My face heated up as she flashed me a beautiful smile, before moving to leave.

Just danced with the most beautiful girl in the room #CatCoFoundation

I looked up and saw Kara by the door, about to leave, but she stopped when her phone vibrated. After glancing at the screen, she paused and a wide smile graced her lips. Her eyes lifted and she gave me a knowing look before disappearing. I found myself smiling like an idiot the rest of the night.

I guess I should have realised, once again, that Kara never ended up telling me whatever it was that she wanted to tell me. I was so caught up in the fact that she returned my feelings that I never remembered to ask her what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe if I'd remembered, things would have ended up a little differently.

–

Kara and I went on some dates, our relationship blossoming naturally. It was the best thing to happen to me at the time – finding someone who I thought truly understood me, and vice versa. We had inside jokes, an 'our song', a favourite restaurant we frequented; we were happy and it was amazing. I was really falling for her. I thought she was perfect. Nothing could change that, I thought. She was everything I wanted.

"What are you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours?" Kara asked, tilting her head to look at me.

It was moments like this when I was in awe of her beauty, inside and out. She was comfortable, with her hair tied in a loose ponytail and her face makeup-free. Her glasses were balanced on her nose as she stared at me with an easygoing smile and sparkling eyes. I felt a sudden overwhelming flood of love for her as she waited for me to reply.

"I'm in love with you," I blurted out uncontrollably.

She raised her eyebrows slightly, mouth agape as she realised what I said.

"I'm sorry," I said, shaking my head. "That was random. And weird. Too soon, right? I freaked you out. I'm sorry."

Kara blinked several times, straightening up as she shook her head. "No, it's not, it's..." I watched her with anticipation, as she found her words. "It's fine. It's... I feel the same way."

It was my turn to be surprised now. I raised my eyebrows, a smile forming on my lips. "You do?"

Kara pursed her lips, eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Yeah."

I breathed out. "I'm really happy to hear that, especially because I thought I freaked you out, but like, I feel like something is bothering you, Kara."

Resting a hand on hers, I squeezed it gently. She offered me a small, troubled smile and I wondered what was occupying her thoughts.

"I trust you," she said gently. "I do. I love you. And I... I want you to know that I think what we have is amazing. I've never been happier."

"This sounds like a breakup," I joked, chuckling nervously. She wouldn't break up with me right after saying 'I love you', right?

"No, no, it's not!" she reassured immediately, taking any doubt from my mind. She leaned forward and cupped my cheek gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, silly."

"Good to know," I said playfully, resting my hand on hers and moving it to my lips, kissing it softly. "What is it though? What's on your mind? You can tell me anything you know."

She nodded. "I know... I can. I will. Now."

I stayed quiet, watching as she had some inner conflict going on. What was bothering her so much?

"I want to say that I–"

But she was cut off by her phone ringing. She rolled her eyes and I offered her an approving smile as she reached to answer it.

"Alex, hey, what's up?"

I sat back, keeping ahold of Kara's hand as she listened to Alex on the phone.

"Are you sure?" Kara said, concern in her voice.

I wondered what was going on, as the blonde was scrunching her brows together with worry. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood up, pacing.

"Okay, I'll be there now," she finished, before hanging up.

"Hey, that sounded serious, is everything okay?" I asked, standing up, too.

Kara nodded, already in the process of grabbing her things. "Yeah, sorry, it's just some family stuff with Alex. I should get going and help her out." She stopped moving and turned to face me, a distracted frown on her face. "I'm sorry. I know we were supposed to spend the evening together and I wanted to tell you something, but–"

"It's fine, Kara, you can just tell me another time," I cut her off, moving forward and rubbing her arm gently. "I hope everything is okay with Alex. I'll just see you at work tomorrow, yeah?"

Kara smiled tightly, nodding. "You're too understanding. It's annoyingly admirable."

I chuckled, stepping forward and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. She had a few inches on me, so I had to step on my tip toes to reach, but seeing the little smile appear on her lips when I did made it worth it.

"Don't get stressed about whatever it is you wanna tell me," I added, meeting her eyes. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I love you and I'm really lucky to have you in my life. I don't think anything will ruin that. Just... remember that, okay?"

Kara nodded, her eyes flickering to the floor. "Thank you, Y/N."

"I'll leave you to it," I said, moving away to grab my coat and put on my shoes. "Good luck with whatever is up, and see you tomorrow."

As I was about to leave, her voice called out, "I love you, too."

I smiled widely at her before leaving, feeling lightweight because of all the love that was bubbling around inside of me. Once again, Kara managed to distract me from the fact that she had something big to tell me, as when I followed up the next day, she assured me that she just wanted me to know that she sometimes moved too fast in relationships and she didn't want me to feel like I was being rushed.

I believed her, blinded by what I thought was my happy ending, and that was that.

[brianvan]

bleep bloop

how do I describe... anything... anymore...

(everything is fine. I'm just weirdly not used to writing a Tumblr post anymore. I write OTHER things but not this, and more importantly I don't READ Tumblr anymore so I don't have the mindset of being on here and writing for the medium, thus I don't really know what to write)

Ultimately I hate year-end stuff. I don't mind doing retrospectives or talking about personal experiences or pop culture any of the other months of the year, but I don't abide by the idea that December 31 (or any date in December) is the deadline for anything. Now that I'm feeling a little writers' block about writing anything, I'm realizing the "end of year" part of it is not fun for me! I mean, it's not going to get any better if I write this in March, but, the end of the year (another piss poor year!) was anticlimactic. And my life is boring. The things that amuse me are not boring, but my life? Happily boring. Dull by design. Steady, reliable, and sleep-inducing. I have a wife, I have a cat, I have a job.

I guess I used to flip through my Tumblr archive to see what I talked about during recent months. Twitter doesn't have that feature in the same way. So I'm kind of lost. There were a lot of DUNE shitposts throughout the year? DUNC

It's very unhelpful to think of life, nature, the entropy of the universe in this particular way & I'm sure if I reflected on it I could state it better but... COVID? The way so many people and institutions have reacted to it? It confirms people are fucking idiots & as a society we're kinda fucked. I think that's the overarching pop culture theme of the past two years. I don't know what you really do with that. It's not very entertaining. It's terrible #content. I don't mind that the world is melting down but we kind of need much better day-to-day content than the timeline alternating between "we need to reopen ASAP" and "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE BECAUSE OF THESE ANTIVAXXERS".

I think with all this bad content online about the pandemic & all the other stuff going to shit since 2016 or so, a lot of people glance at it and go "yeah I don't have time for this" and go right into the cat blogs. Which is why I have a cat blog. I'm providing a service! Skating to where the puck is going.

I'm in the middle of a very boring thing right now (moving nearby, eventually, but doing it slowly and methodically because there's so much of it) so that's probably why I'm looking back at 2021 and going "oh god, ugh, what are you actually doing with yourself" lol I should tell you why I am moving, how God unleashed the Ten Plagues of Egypt in our building basement (one at a time) & nobody was tending to it (each time) & I almost was trapped in a detonating building. Maybe it's not ENTIRELY boring from that angle. Anyway, I am doing the things that need to be done. They're not all fun things.

I did some fun things in 2021 though! It was a while back at this point for a lot of it, but... one night I was at a club until 2:30am! I went to a Genesis concert! I went to some Mets games! I GOT INTO CAMPING! I quit a job! Me and the wife got drunk in Boston! I set up a thing where I had five years of Bourbon County Stout releases saved up and we did a vertical (e.g. each year going in reverse) tasting! I rebuilt my bicycle to have a new groupset & it works great now! I think I played over 600 hours of Nintendo Switch this year! I finally got a new iPhone that takes much better (cat) pictures after four years of the old phone!

I don't have much else. Much of my mental space is about being very, very efficient at getting shit done and having a good week. Which means I watch TV shows we're all obsessed with & then forget them by the Tuesday after I stopped watching them. Maybe "remembering every second of SUCCESSION for months afterward" is a talent for twentysomethings. I used to write a lot on here in my 20s! I can't do that shit anymore.

I sometimes look at the archives here. I sometimes look at the pictures on Flickr. I realize that, about 10-15 years ago, those were some very charmed times. It was a period of youth and carelessness. It was a gift, to have a lot of time where I could be *HERE* and be present for so many things, and not be locked offline all day or living in a rural area to have the job/career I wanted. I told Carolyn this year was the 10th anniversary of the "last LCD Soundsystem show" at MSG (where we had general admission tickets on the floor, it was awesome). It doesn't seem that long ago. A photo I took that night is still the lock screen of my phone. Now I'm like, specifically NOT going to LCD shows because of this COVID Omicron variant (I am writing it in that way because in 2-3 years that will no longer be shorthand, we're all going to forget COVID fast JUST YOU WATCH) and everyone's getting older and some people are dying and my favorite places are closing one-by-one, but interesting things are still happening and life is still good even though I'm an old fart now (by Tumblr standards).

Every couple of months I check my messages here; don't be a stranger!

[isa-ghost]

yk what i was gonna remain anonymous in the tags bc i dont have the competency for this discussion as someone who doesn't read this stuff & generally hates it actually. but tumblrs editor crashed and i lost all my tags explaining my thoughts & there was a lot of them, so now im gonna say it outside the tags with my whole chest bc im pissed off. hopefully i can recall everything i was talking about. expect coherency to be even worse than it already was in the tags and i might lack even more nuance than i already did maybe i guess idk, but bear with me here.

also disclaimer in advance, i'm gonna be saying minors here but i am fully aware the perpetrators of this phenomenon are not Only minors and vice versa. you'll see what i mean

anyway this post is super fascinating to me bc i never thought of torture/gore/whump/etc as non-sexual kink. i never even thought of "kink" as something non-sexual at all. to me these darker angsty topics just are what they are and you just tag it correctly to avoid triggering/squicking people out. its just angst to me, nothing telling about a person (bc kinks can be very telling about a person)

and on another note i usually hate romantic or sexual shipping in mcyt/mcrp bc the line is so blurred between real ppl and their cubitos most times and i loathe real ppl shipping (we'll come back to this point in a sec) (Phil's harem has been a recent exception for me and i think following blogs like Medusa lately is slowly detoxing me from whatever koolaid i've been drinking maybe, idk)

but this post made me realize a lot of the reason for all the disc horse around this brand of stuff in a fandom is bc of the rampant purity culture. and overexposure to that culture taints people like me who just want to respect ccs and their boundaries (and would personally crave toaster bath if this brand of stuff of me existed whatsoever), so their warped way of thinking has been framed to people like me in a way that boils down to "this shouldn't be a thing bc its disrespectful and you wouldn't want someone to do this to YOU"

but to them it's more than that, and i'll unpack that here:

i think a large part of why purity culture is so rampant is bc this fandom is (seemingly) dominated by minors (at least on tiktok and twitter?). and these minors (esp the tiktok kids) have grown up in a capitalistic online society in which everything is heavily censored for the sake of being ad-friendly, so all mature content has been framed to them as evil and immoral or whatever (bc obv they aren't gonna get taught that it's only "immoral" bc it's not savory for making money, that's an awareness they have to obtain themselves). so in their minds 18+ (read: mature) people are evil and immoral by default. it's, at least partially, where the whole "if you hit 19 you're ancient, and if you talk to a minor when you're 18+ you're a predator by default" bullshit comes from.

and to them, these "evil immoral" 18+ people are the *only* ones making all the ship stuff or w/e with the malicious intention of sexualizing ccs and making them uncomfortable on purpose

WHICH comes from the fact that these minors are so parasocial and don't even realize it. they think ccs deserve or NEED to be in the same spaces as their fans. no!!! ccs should NOT be in your group chats or dms!!! especially not consistently!!!!! but bc they think they should/deserve/need to be in those spaces, those spaces need to be squeaky clean and obey a ccs every boundary to a T. and anyone who doesn't do that is an evil little purposefully nasty monster

and like i said, i HATE real people shipping. if i was a cc i would be extremely uncomfortable if stuff like this existed of me, whether or not i ever saw the content myself. i would not want it to exist PERIOD. however, i begrudgingly acknowledge you can't control hundreds of thousands of people online globally for all eternity (bc even if you stopped being a cc and fell off the face of the Earth the content would continue even if in smaller amounts). so the only way to keep a cc comfortable is to keep the stuff that will make them uncomfortable far away from them and never remind them that that stuff exists (aka: keeping them out of fandom spaces).

and i'm not gonna get into it in detail but bc minors don't realize this separation is necessary & healthy, they often run all fandom stuff past ccs (often on stream via tts,,,) as if they're asking permission, or reporting business to a boss or some shit, which shoves all the uncomfortable stuff right in ccs faces, making them uncomfortable, which is exactly what they're arguing needs to NOT happen. fans should not be asking ccs how they want their fandoms conducting themselves, there are a handful of unspoken rules (ie: no bigotry, no doxxing, etc which... not gonna poke any bears here but. yknow) but otherwise there should not be any heavy policing in fandom spaces at all from anyone. period. fandoms should exist with the least amount of awareness of the cc possible. the cc should see the surface level fanart & stuff, and the rest, like the stuff being talked about in this post, should be nowhere near their radar, and generally speaking, the people who make the stuff that shouldn't be anywhere near a ccs radar a) are very careful about tagging effectively to avoid such, and b) would probably crave toaster bath if that stuff DID end up on the ccs radar bc it's meant for other fans, not the cc. which is another issue with purity culture koolaid drinkers shoving stuff in ccs faces for permission. they're not only making the cc uncomfortable by enlightening/reminding them this stuff of them exists, they're making the creators of the stuff who just want to be in their mature fandom corner doin their thing uncomfortable too.

and these minors just. don't think about any of this or believe in it. so this whole confuckled clashing of ways of thinking happens and perpetuates. and to me both sides have a point, but the minors obv are a) lacking tons of nuance and self awareness and b) going about it for the wrong reasons. it's not only, and in most cases not even primarily, about the comfort of ccs, but about eradicating the "evil impure" mature content.

"creative freedom in fandom is essential and you can't control what infinite numbers of people create" and "you shouldn't do things that make ccs uncomfortable, etc etc" are statements that can and should coexist. like how above i acknowledged i dislike the stuff (rpf mostly but cubito based too sometimes) and wouldn't want stuff like that of me to exist, but also acknowledged you just. can't control it and it's unhealthy to try. it all boils down to classic "don't like don't look" type rules, tbh.

hi saw your daddy kink post discussing the phenomenon of giving grown characters surrogate parental relationships, and I understand where you’re coming from, but i really feel like it’s just a matter of the circles you run in, and the assumptions that you might make because of that. you mention how platonic reads of these dynamics are more uncommon than kinky reads, which i just don’t think is the case, and I think that arguing that people don’t even realize that they’re writing a kink is a little bit bizarre, and sort of assumes that you know more abt them than they do by projecting your own experiences onto them.

it isn’t inherently sexual to crave protection or a parental relationship that you may have missed out on, and it is certainly not universal. in my own family, my “grandpa” isnt my biological grandfather (nor do I really consider him to be my grandfather), but he’s my mother’s surrogate father and has been since she was in her twenties. an adult. he sees her as a daughter. she sees him as a father. there’s absolutely nothing kinky about it. and anybody who automatically assumes that must have their mind deep, deep in the gutter and/or the stranger side of the Internet. really, i find it a bit of a strange argument to randomly post in the first place—as if it’s a problem that so many people enjoy non romantic and non sexual relationships, and that these people must, in fact, have a daddy kink that they are unaware of.

that said, i do absolutely agree that fans bringing any part of that into phil’s chat is weird and they should Not do that, and that infantilizing characters is also very weird, and personally i dont even see him as being father figure to anybody on that island except his eggs, wilbur, and MAYBE an argument could be made for tubbo (which other cc’s on the island have joked about), but to each their own and all that.

sorry this is so long. TLDR, i get where ur coming from in terms of “warning , some people might read your stuff differently than you want here” but really not everything is a kink and paternal dynamics can easily happen in regards to adult characters, particularly young adults, without there being any inappropriate connotations. i know nothing i said will change your mind, obviously it’s set, but ykno diff perspectives and all that. hope ur doing well

Thank you for the ask! I see you were on mobile, I believe. :D I am also going to push the character limit with this response, I fear.

I agree that it isn't inhernetly sexual to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, and there are many such cases. I'll even go so far as to say that it's not inherently kinky to go after a parental relationship that you missed out on, because there is such a thing as non-sexual kink, and heaven knows that MCYT writing is full of non-sexual kink. Lots and lots of stuff that is platonic that is kinking on fear, or being drugged, or kidnapping, or hypnosis, or familial relationships, etc— there's lots of people who aren't doing that. There are tons of people out in the real world (and in fiction), who are simply just expanding their family as an adult, and that's awesome. When I was in college there was this older couple who kind of adopted me and invited me over for thursday dinner, and they were awesome. There was nothing untoward going on there.

But look. I am an emduo fan who likes to see my guys be murdery, and because of that, I've ended up reading a bunch of Dark SBI. I've ocassionally gone "this cannot be what everyone is doing" and I've read stuff tagged as "family fluff" that I find recommended. I am aware of where the genre is going, particularly with the rise of "dadbur" and "dadnoblade" interpretations.

And look, you have just got to trust me on this one. People are writing stuff that in any other fandom I would be recommending they put kink tags on the work so that people who liked that trope could find it and people who didn't like it would avoid it, but that comment in DSMP would just lead to people getting doxxed, so I just grit my teeth and go "i guess that's baked into Dark SBI or Tooth Rotting Fluff now, I sure hope that doesn't hit anybody's triggers".

Like I PROMISE you. The first draft of this response included excerpts of fics that I've read and I was like "can YOU pick the ship fic from the /p fics here"? But I have a horror of ever leading to someone getting cancelled on twitter, so nothing that could possibly be identifiable of these writers. But like—

Some of the ways that Tommy gets treated in the narrative are almost indistinguishable from a bodice-ripper romance. Some of the tropes being used— within DSMP we've all clasped hands and agreed to interpret it being platonic, but in any other fandom, you are going to start getting comments that you might not want to get. The tag is FULL of stuff that is DD/LB in everything but name. Maybe my mind is in the gutter here, but if you move out of this fandom, you are going to move into circles where a lot of people's minds are in the gutter, and you are going to get a very different response from your comments!

And I was talking about daddy kink here specifically, because I see that one come up a lot and it's gotten egregious lately, but this also applies to dehumanization, and fearplay, and predator/prey, and "instincts" (in every other fandom that's gonna get people in a mashup of A/B/O, Hypnosis, and sometimes Agere responding to it), and kidnapping/drugging, AND the way a bunch of "piglin instincts" stuff is just a BDSM au now where the Brute (dom) needs to be callmed down by their Runt (sub). The SBI tag is super kinky right now. And I don't have a problem with that idealogically, write your truth, but a) please don't bring that up in front of the streamers, b) if you move to another fandom you have got to be prepared that not everyone is doing their kink platonically.

Like I'm assuming that people don't know what tropes they're playing into, they're just building them from first principles, because the other alternative is that they are deliberately and knowingly writing kink and posting it in the & relationship tag with insufficient trigger tags, and I prefer to believe that people don't know.

I'm glad we agree about people bringing that into Phi's chat, or Pol's, or Luzu, or any of the other streamers that people have decided is So Old. A lot of people aren't comfortable even being assigned dad, as we saw with Felps, so bringing it even further is just— uh oh, no.

I do not have a problem with people liking non-romantic and non-sexual relationships. I find it a bit odd that much of the fandom can't concieve of a non-romantic and non-sexual relationship without making it familial and specifically lately father-son— don't you have close friends?— but I am fully in support of gen writing. I primarily write gen! I'm an avid commentor on gen fics!

But some of the tropes at play in the fandom are kinky, there is no way to avoid that. The fact that they are set in a familial relationship doesn't negate that. Some of the ways that the DSMP characters get treated would be distinctly non-familial if you ever brought it out of that context. And I am just warning people, if you bring it out of that context, be prepared for the response you get.

You cannot take DSMP tropes and apply them one-to-one in other fandoms, with other streamers swapped in, and expect them to be read the same way. Like i'm sorry, but that's just true. If you are posting the same sort of stuff that for Cellbit & Phil that you would post for Tommy & Phil, people will assume that you have a daddy kink, because usually when a relationship between a adults that are actually similar in age is refered to with paternal language it's a kink thing. That is how the broader internet works. (And anon, if I had a daddy kink, would I be complaining about the fact that I can open any SBI fic and have about a 40% chance of hitting it and I'm seeing signs of this appearing in QSMP? I assure you I'm not "projecting [my] own experiences onto them" here.)